Man or Beast?
Nov. 23rd, 2015 02:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no_more_hidingHe's done all he can. The Blackbird is fueled and prepared for flight, the flight suits delivered and now he only had to wait; and to face his thoughts. One can only work so long before the work is done and you are again left with yourself. Sunrise was an hour or so away and he was alone at the hanger. He couldn't stand the echoes of sound within the hanger so he gave into his new instincts and climbed to the hanger's roof.
I am such an fool!
The night sky was very clear with no cloud cover and while the evening was a tad chill, his fur kept him warm
I'm a monster.
There's Pleiades and Ursa Major and there's the North Star.
AN ANIMAL!
Libra. Sagittarius. Orion. Where's Draco...there. A sigh escapes him and he sits giving up his charade. Truly one can't hide from one's self. You are always there. Am I an animal, a monster?
Oh God, how could I have said those things to Raven? I'm such an idiot!
Fur and claws yes but he still had thumbs.
Monkeys and apes have thumbs.
He still had thoughts, still reasoned.
I owe her an apology.
The sun rose behind him and he looked to see his shadow grow. It stretched, distorted by the angle of light. He cocked his head to one side studying it, remembering an old metaphor from his philosophy studies.
I've always been a freak, scared to show myself. Hiding rather than facing the world.
Below he heard them enter; Erik and Charles, Alex and Sean, Moria and Raven. Suddenly he wanted, no needed to see Raven. Now more than ever. He stood with one fluid motion, stopping to stare at his shadow again before turning to leave the cave he had made of his life. He was through looking at the shadows.
I am such an fool!
The night sky was very clear with no cloud cover and while the evening was a tad chill, his fur kept him warm
I'm a monster.
There's Pleiades and Ursa Major and there's the North Star.
AN ANIMAL!
Libra. Sagittarius. Orion. Where's Draco...there. A sigh escapes him and he sits giving up his charade. Truly one can't hide from one's self. You are always there. Am I an animal, a monster?
Oh God, how could I have said those things to Raven? I'm such an idiot!
Fur and claws yes but he still had thumbs.
Monkeys and apes have thumbs.
He still had thoughts, still reasoned.
I owe her an apology.
The sun rose behind him and he looked to see his shadow grow. It stretched, distorted by the angle of light. He cocked his head to one side studying it, remembering an old metaphor from his philosophy studies.
I've always been a freak, scared to show myself. Hiding rather than facing the world.
Below he heard them enter; Erik and Charles, Alex and Sean, Moria and Raven. Suddenly he wanted, no needed to see Raven. Now more than ever. He stood with one fluid motion, stopping to stare at his shadow again before turning to leave the cave he had made of his life. He was through looking at the shadows.
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Date: 2015-11-23 10:16 pm (UTC)"Here I am," He says though he knows they can't see him clearly since the sun is rising behind him. He changes his path to walk straight to Raven which puts the Blackbird between him and the sun. Sudden they can see him and each one's shock feels like a slap. "It didn't work," he says standing before her and looking down.
"Yes it did Hank," Raven says stepping forward to lift his face. He looks at her, really looks at her, and is dazzled by her beauty. His new eyes see so much more than before. Her skin isn't just blue but indigo and purple as well, a tapestry of twilight sky. He also smells Erik on her but he pushes the thought aside. "Don't you get it? This is who you were meant to be. This is you. No more hiding." She continues and he smiles.
He swallows, about to apologize for all the things he said to her, to tell her how beautiful she is, when Erik speaks up, "Never looked better, man," and punches him in the arm. Hank doesn't think, doesn't stop himself. All the past anger at Erik's interruptions and the jealousy he feels that Raven smells of Erik, push all civil thoughts away and instinct takes the driver's seat.
He grabs Erik by the throat without looking and turns with a growl of bared fangs. "Don't Mock Me!" He growls as he squeezes and watches Erik's face turn red. He stares into Erik's eyes and sees the man who continually steps between him and Raven. He could solve so many of his problems by just continuing to squeeze.
No, not that way. Never that way, he thinks just as Charles' voice pierces his awareness. "Hank...HANK!"
He drops Erik and steps back a pace or two, shocked at the intensity of his emotions. Everything he just did, just felt, all the anger, the possessiveness and jealousy, was so powerful. It wasn't him was it? He feels like he could do anything and almost just did one of the most horrible things he could imagine.
"I wasn't" Erik chokes out looking up at him from the floor. Hank looks down at him and then at everyone else.
"I'm sorry," He says finally, looking at Raven to make sure she knew it was for her as well, and offers a hand to help Erik up. Where as before he would have said this with his head bowed, now he says it with his chin raised.
"Damn dude," Alex says breaking the silence. "Even I have to admit you look bad ass. I've got a new name for you, Beast."